~~Tuesday, December 30, 2003~~

Star Flight
He watched as the universe soared above, then closer and then past
Stars rushed by and planets danced
Sparkling diamonds fell within his reach
His breath fogged the window of the ship
And he quickly wiped it away
To drink in more of the amazing heavens
So whatcha do boy? The cop asked roughly
I killed a man, said the watcher simply
The cop shiftly uncomfortable and sidled away from the man
Why would you do a thing like that? Asked the cop, raising his eyebrows and exchanging looks with another police man
The inmate looked silently out of the rocket that was to bring him to a barren deserted planet for convicted felons
He looked into the heavens, into the beautiful belt of planets and stars
He stared wide and long, and at last broke into a big smile
Where else could I see heave in all it's glory
He said with a wide sweep of his hand towards the window
The cop guffawed loudly
So you're willing to give up your whole life for a three minute glance at some stars?
The inmate looked silently at him
Then looked back out at the winking stars
This
He said quietly
This is my whole life


Filler
You all know me
I'm the girl that sits next to you in English making smart remarks
The girl in biology who eggs on the teacher
Or the friend you laugh with and watch cute boys
If you could discover me
You'd be surprised
I'm different
Not like you, there's something more
No one knows what it's like
to live inside this body
No one knows how to say
what I think and how I feel
So you can pretend to know me
To you I'm a teenager, a body, a waste of yearbook space
Perhaps it's better you think that
I laugh and sing and dance and shine
So you won't have to know
Perhaps it's better this way
At least one of us will be happy

~~Monday, December 29, 2003~~

A breakdown
Meltdown
Post- Mordom Stress Light
Lit with pain and shame
Forget about the shadows
the consume your ego
Forget about your life
as it hangs onto a thinning thread
Knock off their laughter
Shake off their gossip
Just remember I'm here
And remember I care
So stay here
stay here with me
And we can forget about yesterday
And remember tommorow


Earth biting frusturation
Nails clawing
Hair tearing anger
Bitter resentment :/
....i dont know what the fuck I'm writing

Excuse the above random idiom

~~Saturday, December 27, 2003~~

I respect the Individual
I Respect the Individual
hell, I idolize him ironically
Course you're afraid of him
Look at him
His eyes, his clothes, his hair, his ideals
All different from yours
Being different doesn't make you a bad person
Damn ya'll are gonna learn something
Something's coming
And one day it's gonna sweep you up
And knock you down
Leaving curiousity and questioning in it's path
He might even help you
Pick you up and brush you off
And you might even forget about his clothes, and his hair and his eyes
You might even forget he's different
Because you might see him for what he really is
A god damn individual

~~Wednesday, December 24, 2003~~

I can sit for a while
In a shady park
Legs, crossed
Hat on
Slow breeze
And I can watch
as people walk by
and children play
and sprinklers catch light
I can sit there
So quietly and content
The heat keeping me silent
And I can watch
But what do I see
I see problems and worries and issues when I watch the adults
I see selfishness and violence and ostracizing when I watch the children
So I sit there quietly
And just watch the grass and the sprinklers and the birds
Saddened to think that we live in such beauty
That we never notice

~~Monday, December 22, 2003~~

Are you all having fun living inside the box?
Well, I'm not
I'm sick of running around and just when I think I'm free I hit myself on a wall
So I'm going to leave you now
I'm going to leave your box, and your rules
But I'll probably be back tommorow
Because there's not a lot to do around here
So....You all have fun today in your box
And I will live outside of it....just for a day

~~Sunday, December 21, 2003~~

It was raining
Rivers and streams flew and leaped down the roads
Licked the windows and kissed the rooftops
It had been raining on Earth for forty years
The sun had not shone
Leaving everything a dull, gray washed out color
Little Becca Simpson sat in her classroom
Hugging her legs against her chest, head against the cold windowpane
Just staring out into the dark, cold morning
But today, today would be different
Just twenty more minutes
Everyone was talking about it
Today was the day the sun would shine, for just one hour
Once every forty years, came the hushed whisper
And today it would shine
Becca would sit in the sun
And hug the rays and bathe in the heat
To be warm, to be really warm was all she wanted
SOmeone shoved Becca
A deep, hard shot
Get out of my seat,
Growled a voice behind her
Becca ignored him, just an annoying little boy
He roared in anger and grabbed her by her sweater
Becca's arm shot out and hit the boy, but more came and hit her back
They shoved little Becca Simpson in the janitor's closet
Kicking and screaming she cried and pounded against the door
Two hours later they remembered her and gasped
It was meant to be a joke, just let her out right before the sun would come out
But they had run outside and forgotten all about little Becca SImpson
They had laughed and played in the sun
Caught the brightness in their hands and watched it glow
And when it had begun to rain again they ran inside the classroom, laughing and shaking sunshine from their hair, only then remembering their little captive
The little boys were wide eyed with fear as they walked slowly to the closet
Brett Thompson, the boy who had shoved her unlocked the door and opened it slowly
They was Becca, hung from the coat rack of the closet
Little Becca Simpson driven crazy
From the darkness and fear
Little Becca Simpson who had hung herself
Because she was sick of being cold.



Delilah
Kaela flopped down against a tree trunk, sighing with contempt. Getting kicked out of school again was the least of her worries, it was more a problem of her dreams. They had started less than a month ago, always getting more and more realistic. Always the same girl, beautiful and regal with eyes brimming with sorrow. Always the crying and pleas for help. Kaela twisted her long blue ponytail around her finger, tighter and tigher until her finger turned red. Lost in thought she groaned as she heard the bell ring in the distance. Kaela scooped up her bag and sprinted home, narrowly missing students heading home after a long day of school. She used her key to get in, and was nearly knocked over by her oversized labrador. "Hey, you damn mutt" she said affectionately, patting his head and scratching him under his chin. She strode into the kitchen, dropping her bag on a chair and peering at a note tacked on the food projector. Her mother was in Reno again, with that new boyfriend of hers, Sam or Cam or something. Kaela sighed and walked quietly into the living room, switching on the monitor and flopping onto the couch. Cartoons displayed around her head, playing hologrpahic images beating each other senseless. Kaela closed her eyes, lulled by the afternoon heat.
She was back, in that world with her. Kaela opened her eyes and stretched her limbs yawning and looking around. "Please" said a voice quietly. "Please, you must help us Kaela," She strode out from the shadow of a tall building, beautiful and elegant. Kaela turned to look at her, and found she could talk. "Where am I?" She asked slowly, still sleepy and confused. "I've brought you here," The girl said quietly, "I don't know how long you will stay this time, but you're here and you must help." Kaela eyed the girl and her surroundings. She seemed out of place, for her setting was a dreary alleyway, complete with fog and crowded, dirty homes. "What do you want from me?" asked Kaela suspiciously. "It's your time," The girl said as she strode forward. Her hand slid into Kaelas, and the world began to melt, "It's time for you to meet your destiny."

~~Saturday, December 20, 2003~~

Silver Sun
It started a long time ago. She knew of it every since she was a young child, barely able to stand. Their ships had flown down, gleaming underbellies glaring in the hot sun. Naive young civilians crept out of their houses and cramped apartments, curious as wide- eyed children. They played music and marched gaily in the streets. Visitors! They cried with jubilancy. From another planet! Another cry rang out. Warm, stiff July breezes rose swirling dirt around the landed rockets. Too many to count, like silver sardines lined up in a row. Alice was there, just like all the others, pigtails curled up with red and blue ribbons, eyes glowing and streamers in hand. That had been many years ago, the streamers and ribbons and music all swept away by the July wind. They doors had opened up. Great steel fortresses pried their mouths open, leaving gaping black holes. The music and giggles died down as steamed hissed from deep within the shining metal rockets. They stepped back, slowly at first and then a stumbled run, panic flew through Alice as they emerged. Gaunt, tall skeletons, lean and musclular. A dullish rubber sheen to their skin was dulled in comparison of their rockets. Their eyes were insect like, and clicked and hummed. They twitched their heads, rotating them and moving their joints like newly oiled machines. Their limbs were long and thin, but strong like wire pulled taut. They wore no clothes, baring smooth strong skin. They raised their hands to the people, fingers outstretched and long. The humming and clicking grew louder, and more metallic. Her mother gripped her hand tightly and whirled to run away. A stinging metal shot fired through the air, hitting Alice's mother square in the back. Alice felt the impact and was pulled down with her mother. She screamed as her hand was pulled from her mothers. More metal zings followed, and Alice watched in horror as neighbors and teachers and former gardeners fell to the ground, gasping for life. She ran, ducking and dodging the falling bodies, blocking out the screams and chaos. Her streamer was torn from her hand, trampled by boots and heels. She tripped and fell, knocked to the ground by a falling body. There she lay trapped, for many hours until at last, all was silent. Alice lay crying, and for a child of five she lay very still and was very good. She knew that her mommy would be proud of her, and would maybe even take her down to the soda fountain that next afternoon. So she lay there, very quietly and very good. The stars crept out, shining merrily and twinkling down on the little town, that lay so quiet and still.

~~Monday, December 15, 2003~~

He crept silently through the kitchen, down on all fours to avoid being seen. He was silent and dark, hidden in shadow. Quietly he crept across the floor, pausing only momentarily once in a while to cock his head and listen to the quiet hum of the stove. The back door was locked, and he grunted in frusturation. He squeezed himself through the dog door and tumbled head first into the wet lawn. Shaking his head, he smiled and walked slowly over to the pool. He dipped a foot in cautiously, teetering from the change of balance. The water was cold, and dark and the ripples lapped softly away from him, into the darkness. He fell into that black pool, plunging deeper and deeper. The moon got smaller and smaller and he smiled as he silently closed his eyes. Deep inside the house, the babysitter looked up suddenly from her magazine. "Johnny?" She called with bored concern. "Johnny, I can't hear you playing mister!"

~~Sunday, December 14, 2003~~

Carnivalé
The roads of his small, peacefull town whispered quietly
that fatefull evening
Shadows danced in the flickering candlelight in the frosty windowsills
The cobblestoned streets were dusted with dry, crackling leaves jittering across
that one, lone night
He couldn't sleep, so he crept to the window
The shade pulled back just slightly, revealing a slice of crescent moon
The moon shone down upon the street below, it's faint glow lighting the old, weathered stones
Silently, he watched as they approached
Dark, massive structures and cages being pulled on bumpy old wheels
Men and women, silent and unrecognizable teetered and danced and trudged along
They made no sounds, save for the squeaky patter of the old, painted wheels
A lone man walked in front
Broad, tall, strong and powerful
His face a mess of shadows
The little boy watched silently above as they trudged through the town
The man stopped at the center of town, the procession behind him coming to an abrupt halt.
The shadows swirled and danced
His hand rose up to twirl at a black moustache
His eyes flickered in the candlelight
A hiss sounded from one of the covered cages
A low growl sounded from another
A woman began to sing softly
From within a covered cage
The hissing and growling ceased
The man smiled, revealing a showstopping smile
"Carnivalé "
He whispered, his accent deep and thick
The candles flickered out
The Carnivalé had come to town.

~~Thursday, December 11, 2003~~

Dreamcatcher
She was falling
Faster and faster
Past blurred faces and claws and fire and screams
Yet she sat there so calmly
Not the least bit alarmed
Somehow she knew
Knew it was a dream
Just a light figment, just something she would get out of
Of course she was right
And as she awoke from her slumber
She smiled a cocky, I'm too rational for you kind of smile
She rose from bed and stretched
Yawned and put feet with floor
The Devil stepped out of the shadows of her room
A dream,
he said with a quiet whisper
You may realize this is a dream,
his whisper getting louder
But what you do not realize,
his voice now booming off the walls
Is that time is forever in my dreams,
His laughter piercing her ears
Slicing that coy smile clean off her face


Home
He sat that cold winter evening
Back against a cold hard lamp post
It's glow faint and seemingly far away
His eyes looked out beyond an ancient furrow brow, seeing only cold swirling snow
He sighed, a deep push of air that sent a white cloud spiriting away from him
Larissa darlin,
He said in a deep grieving voice
Larissa, why'd you leave me here precious?
A tear slid slowly down the face of a fresh mourner
Mate gone, hopes and dreams with her
The man, bent with age and sorrow curled into a ball
Arms wrapped tight around his scuffed up pants
A thin, wisp of a wind ruffled his hair
Those ancient eyes looked up
Back on Earth, an old woman, was alone in her home
Mrs. Larissa Thompson sat in that lonely old house, grieving for her recently dead husband.
Wesley
She whispered timidly
Pale thin hands wrapped up in one another
Why'd you leave me here all alone?
She shook and tears welled up in her eyes
She swallowed, and the hands unwrapped themselves
Reached under the bed, to where Wesley has kept the gun
I'll be home soon Wesley
She said in her quiet, but firm manner.

~~Sunday, December 07, 2003~~

Pale Assassin
His pale hands shook with cold and fear
Trembling veins froze into tiny blue rivers
His eyes shot through the heavy mist
Making out a dark shadow of a man
Coming towards him, knife in hand
The old man stifled a scream and fell back into a black shadowed alley
Falling onto cold wet pavement
He looked up into the eyes of his assassin
Deliverance his pale lips trembled
Deliverance is for cowards growled the murderer
A silent scream filled the deep harbor docks that fateful evening
As blood mixed with salt water
The gas lamps flickered and purred with content.

~~Friday, December 05, 2003~~

Wonderland
The sky twinkled overhead
Sparkling little diamonds
He plucked one gently from the heavens
Smiled, and then smashed in to a pulverized mound.
He looked upon the peaceful earth
Sang to the people and the trees
Then stomped and thrashed until all was still
He then went back into his home and sat down quietly
Opening his book he began to read
Once upon a time there was a horrible ogre
What a strange story he chuckled to himself....and popped a few children in the oven on broil.



A little conversation in the life of highschoolers:

Diane:. . .hey greg, who helps you with eng. hw
Greg: . . .hey diane, who helps u name ur story, makes the final climax of ur story, teaches you how to properly bruise hands, provides love for KC, and gives u emotional support?
Diane ...wow, you are my god
Greg. . .wow, your MY god
Greg. . .wow, we should just like quit school and be like gods
Diane: ....wow
Diane: and like...rule people
Greg: yea...and like...mess with them

Just a conversation with someone I like to call my Editor :)



Special
Two tiny girls sat cross-legged
Facing one another in the middle of the school yard
Rolling marbles
Plink, plink, pow!
One of the girls shouted and wiggled with joy
The other sat sullen and brooding
The marbles rolled
Towards the angry girl
Shaking little piles of glass
The wiggler stopped and looked in shock
How did you do that?
The wiggler asked quietly
The girl gathered up the marbles and stood up silently
Her shadow blocking all sunlight from the wiggling little girl
I'm just special
She said in a whisper
And walked across the playground

~~Wednesday, December 03, 2003~~

All That We Live For
I was in the car
One late winter night
Highway lights
Colors like shiny presents
Blurred together in bright ribbons
Mist fell deeply like snowflakes
When I saw him there
A young man, like all the others
Homeless, just sitting on a bench
Arms wrapped tight around himself
Rags as clothes
I sat in my car
Heater blasting
Radio on christmas songs
I glanced over, as the bright lights caught my attention
He and I looked at each other
But unlike all the others
I didn't forget him
Because he smiled
And he meant it
I smiled back, and we knew one another
We were in the same place
Just watching all the cars run past
On their way to homes and loved ones
I don't know why he mattered so much to me
But that night I cried
And my tears were for that man
That had his arm wrapped around himself because he was so cold
THis isnt a poem, a writing or even me trying to be creative
It's me coming to the realization that we do live in Fairy Land
And I guess this is just me being thankful
SO thank you to my parents, my society and my friends
And most of all thank you to that man
WHo smiled at me like I was a real person


Lily's Lullaby- Part SEVEN
The next few days I spent engrossed in thought. I knew I had to get rid of them, but how? I sat pent up in my room- only telling the others slight information. They dismissed me as crazy and generally left me alone. Then one night it hit me. I watched as their torches came slowly over the horizon and I knew what I had to do. The Mayson residence was their safehouse, their haven. To get rid of their haven would be to get rid of them. It was dilapidated, dying already. It wouldn't be hard to burn the hell hole to the ground. I spent that evening looking down upon the monsters, smiling and waving sweetly at Lily who howled and leapt and clawed at the ground and walls. I spent that night anxiously waiting until they left, trudging back to the forest. I slipped out of the house, provisions in my cloak pockets, kicking aside their now dead amusement from hours before. My foot got caught in the man's jacket and I pulled sharply. Something caught my foot and I fell to the ground hard, hitting my head on a sharp stone. I became groggy and everything blurred. The last thing I remember seeing was the dead man's face, leering at me, putrid stale breath choking me slowly. It must of been much later that I woke up. My head throbbed and I could feel the dried cracked blood on the back of my neck. Why was I still alive? I thought desperately. And where was I? I tried to rise, and felt a reeling in my head, and a dull pain through my body. I sat into a fetal position and had a look at my surroundings. I was in some kind of a barn it looked. The room was small and dark, furnished with nothing but a cold stone floor, some dry pieces of hay and a shivering candle. The one lone door was heavy oak, and had been most likely locked. Sure enough, as I rose slowly and walked stiffly over to it, I was unable to open it. I looked over to the candle, and my first thought of burning the house down came to mind. Good idea Meredith, I muttered. Never smart to burn a house down while you're locked inside. I looked all around the room in vain, trying to find a means of escaping before my captors came back. I sat down against one of the cold slabs of wall and sighed. A beetle scuttled in front of me. I eyed it, and my mouth began to salivate. A hand shot of, crushing the beetle in it's grasp, juice oozed out of it's decaying palm. The hand rose to my mouth, and I realized it was own. I swallowed the beatle ravenously, smacking my lips. My mind began to work faster, the room began to spin. Click, click, click- little pictures of what had happened began to form in my mind. My body seperated from my mind, both reeling and lurching with new rythyms and motion. Inside I was screaming, outside I was a beast. They had blood- induced me, Lily herself smiling broadly eyes blank and round like those of a great white shark. She had taken me as her prize, her toy. I was half awake when she pulled me to her. Her body was dead and rotten, chunks of flesh had dropped off, leaving molding pieces of bones and muscles filled with maggots. She pulled my face to hers and kissed me lightly on the cheek, her lips dry and cracked with blood. I pulled at her hair and her face in vain attempts to get away, but she just laughed darkly as her cold hands gripped my tighter. Her lips left a trail down my cheek, towards my neck. I felt her sharp fangs plunge into a big, fat juicy vein and for a brief spasm I shook with pain. My body crumpled after that, and I fell asleep- only to be thrown into this cell. It was complete I thought bitterly, as I snapped out of my reverie. I sat there, calmly watching my body lurch and grovel around the small barn, reeling and banging itself against the walls. I wanted meat, and blood and pain. I wanted to cause pain, and feel hurt seep within my pores. I knew it wasnt right, but then a deep laughter filled the tiny room. Maniac laughter that sputtered and kicked and growled. I looked around the room in surprise, only to find the laughter coming from deep within my soul...The monster had been born.


Her hands ran across the keys
Pail long stems pattered on the ivory
Slow and graceful, like waterdrops
The notes sounded from inside of her
She closed her eyes, her body swayed so slightly
I watched her intently
Hands gliding over the piano
She smiled
Her eyes opened
The stems drooped
The waterdrops stopped and ran still
Water running along slowly upon ivory hills
She turned her head towards me
And at that moment
I would have given to world
To give her my sight
And to let her see how beautiful her playing really was
But she will never see
For her life is shrouded in darkness
She will never see
How inspired we all are by her

~~Monday, December 01, 2003~~

Down the hole she fell
Spiraling and swooping deeper and deeper
She began to slow
The air now warm and soft
What a wonderful way to die!
She thought
As she plunged through the center of the earth


I've lost my mind many times, I've lost my wallet many more- KC

"To prepare a face to meet the faces you will meet"
- e. e. cummings

[x] Mazie's Blog
[x] Hatter's Blog

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