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~~Wednesday, July 21, 2004~~ I let you wash over meEyes closed as that cool clean breeze whispers in my ear I let this memory of someone once forgotten Reminisce with all I had locked away They play a delicate, tangible tango Unaware of the repercussions their echoed footsteps create As much as this excites and exhilirates my body My soul has retreated to a melancholy corner Leave me broken While I can still pick up the pieces Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 9:15:00 PM)
Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 9:05:00 PM) If all this music could just stop playing If the clinking of forks and the tipping of glasses could cease If the mindless laughter and pointless chatter were to die Maybe I could hear If everyone would stop running and kicking up dirt If all the bright lights and sequined dreams were cut off If pretty faces and exotic places were to just disapear Then maybe I could see If all the problems were to drain away Then maybe I could start to live But what's life without a little drama? Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 8:55:00 PM) I leave tommorow for another couple of weeks at camp...but before I do, I think I'll leave you with one more lasting impression of me: I live strong As my mother taught me to hold my chin up Up above their words and feeble hits As my grandmother held my head while I cried I learned compassion and strength don't have to clash I live for today And instead of holding back and biting my lip I take flying leaps and yell back at everyone and everything I learned from a young age that perfection is indeed imperfections learned I live in peace Because my sister taught me as a child to care about laughter rather than harm It's because of my empowerment And the idea of choice That I live I. Live. Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 8:36:00 PM) ~~Monday, July 05, 2004~~ My dreams, I'm afraid have grown worse.For in these reveries I find my death so eminent so graphic. It is with a culpable fascination that I hide them Each by Each by the stark of midnight. I take them out secretly One by one and revel in the juicy desire of pain I so badly yearn to entreat upon myself. Do not pity me, Friend. I would rather you merely observe and take part in this delicious perversion of the human soul. Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 9:06:00 PM) My daily victories I quietly sacrifice to you My love You sweep them up and brush them under And all the while I'm merely glad You touched them Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 9:01:00 PM) I wish I could write a song To show you just how excited I am So when you play those opening chords And an opening melody sweeps over your body Eyes closed, tremors plucked You will see just how nervous I am Composing this memoir Of a time when I met you, but we never really talked Passing ships that never thought about a chance But now I see you again, and my hair tucks itself behind my ear Shy and scared of this friend who I dare to call more I wish I could write a song A song for you To show you what I feel To hesitant love that I so quietly confess Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 8:24:00 PM) Well, I'm off for another session of camp- So i won't be updating for a while...Try not too miss me too much, eh mates? Just got back from dinner with Grandmere (my grandmother) which entailed her opening the door, looking me up and down, taking notice I'm sure of my lime green running shorts and messy ponytail, and leading me in, shaking her head and muttering in German...oh I don't need to speak German to know what she was saying. Translation: Ohhhh Diane will never marry, for who would want to marry this tall, headstrong girl who wears shorts the color of LIMES?! Why can't she be more like her sister, the good, dependable, Stanford Grad who marries a computer engineer???? I'll tell you why, Grandma.....because I'm different and crazy and yes dramatic, and that's how I am and will always be :) ::Yes I know I'm different I know it's true Behind hushed doors I'm talked about A mere controvesery sparked by intolerance Yes I know I'm not different Yes, I know it's true But in the end love I'm just glad I'm not like you And you And you...:: Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 7:41:00 PM) ~~Sunday, July 04, 2004~~ I told her from the very begginingI said, Lass you're lookin for trouble with that boy Hey eyes glowed like a crumbling fire She grinned like a child on her day of birth I know, she growled, and I love it I merely shook my head And watched as I ran off with that boy they call trouble Why did I ever let myself fall for someone so much like myself? Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 6:38:00 PM) I play a cruel, hard game Do you care to take a gander? I always win in this world I cheat and steal and lie Your mothers shake their heads Your fathers frown and glare I leave each town in a whirl of perfume and torment I enter in a quiet foreboding shadow I'm not perfect which makes me excel I intrique you, admit Begrudgingly you watch my show each night Hide in the back row so you can't be seen Up front I can still see your wanton lust I laugh because I know you're weak Which makes me stronger Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 6:24:00 PM) ~~Saturday, July 03, 2004~~ I've done some bad things in lifeSome black, sequined in the spotlight things Things, things, things Sound so innocent, look so clean Turned out I'm really cold and dark and mean My life has been one storm cloud purring into the next Out of you and into him Is how I played Play, Play, Play Feels like hushed secrets kept for tommorow I like to undress your problems and kiss away the sorrow I've been a temptress a prowlress and a one handed pirate I've been bad and known that life is meant to be this way Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 9:34:00 PM) Back on a break from camp, sleeping, eating and doing laundry (and I wonder why I left camp...)Anyways, camp is awesome- last session I was in a unit called Snoqualmie which consisted of 19 little 2nd and 3rd grade girls (h e c t i c) lets just say we had at least one bed wetter a night, one major sickness, about a dozen homesick girls and and least 100 instances of lost socks, hats or water bottles...but I still love it like no other. Most unforgettable camp memory so far? Last night campfire, it was probably in the low 40's in temperature so I gave up my sweatshirt and long sleeve shirt to the little girls next to me leaving me in shorts and a short sleeve sweatshirt :( However, I had a little girl curled up in my lap and one on each side with my arms around them, trying to keep them all warm. It would have been miserable, except as I was trying to distract them by singing "Lean on Me" softly and rocking them, Shelbi- the little girl wrapped in my sweatshirt in my lap- looked up at me and whispered in my ear, "You're the nicest person I've ever met" and then proceeded to fall asleep on me, snoring softly. I think right then and there I have never felt so fulfilled...so this post is dedicated to my little children, all 19 of them....may you always be loud, and crazy and just the little girls you are meant to be... ::I've grown up they've told me Into someone repectable who never crosses the line I used to be just like you love A runner and singer Dancing in tune to shaken heads and tsk tsk tsks I might have grown up I might have grown old But in the end love I refuse to die cold:: Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 6:51:00 PM) I've always been a stationary icon A memory of someone who used to dream My laughs come seldom now Quiet, tiny diamonds falling out of my pocket one by one My smile is always hidden Boxed up and put away with last year's Christmas decorations I've always been the girl known as nothing more A wisp of someone brave and bold And now that wisp is floating away I often sit on the park bench I stare at nothing in particular If i could I would travel the world picking up my lost laughter If i could I would travel the world and Retrieve my smile I i could I would travel the world And find myself Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 6:26:00 PM) Never been a huge fan of these, but what the hell.... Firsts First job:Answering phones First screen name: um...something like superchica747? First funeral: Does my dog count? other than that...my grandpa's First pet: Lucy, the everlasting beagle who died on my birthday First piercing: Ears, age 10 or so First tattoo: age 17, chinese symbol for courage on my back First credit card: yeah, because my parents trust me that much First kiss: no one knows but me and it's staying that way First enemy: Travis Bunnell, he pushed me down first grade and made me cry First favorite musician: Spice girls, i distinctly remember that Lasts Last car ride: Hillcrest to home Last kiss: Please don't ask...you really wouldn't believe me Last movie watched: Casablanca Last beverage drank: Pepsi (I don't even like pepsi) Last food consumed: Tortilla chips Last phone call: Will maybe? Last time showered: This mornin Last CD played: Moby Last website visited: www.Tjsplace.blogspot.com Now Single or Taken: Oh inescapably single Sex: With who? Birthday: June 4, 1987 Sign: Gem ini Siblings: jenny the kindergarten teacher from planet anal Hair color: Brown?. Eye color: Brown Shoe size: 8 Height: 5'11" Right now what are you... Wearing: Ripped jeans and a bikini top Drinking: Nothing, I'm not that tight Thinking about: How right now I need to take care of a friend who's hurting more than he deserves to Listening to: Lithium- Nirvana Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 4:20:00 PM) It's all about the velvet streets Lined with smoke encrusted metal tables Set so seductively with muted candles Laying quietly, flickering on the tops A simple scene filled with lust and thought Here the beautiful pale poets and intellectuals Lay in ancient chairs Black berets curled amongst the steam of fresh cofee Under street lights purring a flame too lazy to burn bright Under the heavens melancholy and deep as the thinkers that lay beneath her And under the steep buildings full of mothers and old men waiting to die The few, proud citizens argue and triumph and laugh In this captivating city we call Paris Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 3:43:00 PM) I've found that in my life I'm waiting for it all to begin I've discovered a path that's marked and dirty And that's how I want it to be You see, in my world I'm a little scarred and a little hurt But it's these wounds that give me character For now I'm merely waiting for love to find me For now I'm excited to find you Maybe then I can show you my scars that go deeper than skin And maybe Someone will listen to my story Inestimable
(a reflection of my time 3:36:00 PM) |