~~Tuesday, September 28, 2004~~

If anger could be consumed
I swear I'd have had my share
If I could play a game with death
I'd laugh and take the dare
I've been running around with scissors in hand
I've been careless with a teenage brand
I've backed down from taking my last stand
And I come here today to rid myself of the promised land

~~Monday, September 27, 2004~~

You made me see the best in life
You pushed me out and made me fall straight into reality
I backed into your arms with wide eyes and murmured hushes
You simply wrapped your arms around me and whispered it was going to be okay
I was
I am
scared of living
But with you here I think I'll be okay

~~Sunday, September 26, 2004~~

i could live in a warm place
a place with no memory
where a blink and a year run smoothly
i could live in a place like that
where nightmares wash away
in the early morning
and dreams float higher
higher than rooftops and watchtowers

~~Thursday, September 23, 2004~~

i've found a life that fits my skin
and deep inside are my bretherin
a tale for yours a song for mine
a bond that deepens through old time
and as we age and our smiles wane
we shall sit back and laugh
as we learn we are to blame
a mistake a shame a simple lie
coming from the most unlikely alibi
in later years a laugh will provail
from this funny, unlikely, crazy tale

~~Wednesday, September 15, 2004~~

The moment I saw you hurt
I thought back to all those memories
Rolling onto me like waves in the great sea
Hitting hard and without mercy
I lost myself
That day
Watch me go under
As children laugh
Women splash
Men hit the turf with powerful muscles
Watch me look up as I hit the bottom
See my eyes
You then will know what regret really looks like
Let me be lost
And let those memories hit me strong and without mercy

~~Sunday, September 12, 2004~~

You were my light
My strength
And my constant memory
Of a time when I was happy
tucked away, but never really forgotten
I remember so vividly a time
You hugged me
Powerful and angelic
Looked me in the eyes
rare for a child so young
And said you'd miss me
Said you'd cared
Said I was something to you
Something
That word from your lips
Is a picture permanently etched in my head
You held my hand
Simple, clean and cool
And then walked away
As I watched you walk across the playground
That hot summer day
I stood in that pale yellow dress
Watching your dark form depart
As the years passed on
I didn't forget that form
Or that I was something
As the years passed on
I found that you too had passed on
As a child I was mesmorized
As a woman I remembered
That I was something
You will always be here to me
You will always be my something



I'm alright I guess
I'm doing just fine in this world
Black and blue
Are just colors to me
Cold and hot
Are just your feelings for me
Dark and light
Are what I see when I step onto the street
You can leave me here
I'll be alright
You can walk away in time to the music
Hair flying
Eyes flashing
I'll be alright
I'll be content
Just to sit in my room, looking out at the world
Hot and cold
Like your feelings for me

~~Friday, September 10, 2004~~

I've got friends because I can
I've got jocks and punks and outcasts that I relate to
Because I can
I laugh with the rebels the druggies and the preps
Because I like to
I'm not afraid of them, I can look them in the eye
Because I say what I think
Don't hold back, don't get discouraged and don't make it awkward
Don't forget and don't pretend and never
ever
Feel you don't have friends




My weakness is lost somewhere on a beach you've never seen
Hidden in hot sand it listens to the waves lick the coast
It smells the palm trees sway and play together
It feels a deep sense of slowing time
My weakness plays with memories washed upon the shore
Laughing quietly, my weakness spends hours looking out on the horizon
And at the end of the day
A peacefull sense of closure heavies my eyes
And down my weakness falls
Down my weakness falls

~~Tuesday, September 07, 2004~~

remember me when I'm right outside your door
THink back to the time when you fell down on my floor
These memories may seem trivial and so naive
But there the ones we remember when we leave
So look past the now look past our nights
and all the pain
and all the fights
remember me for the laughs and tears
remember me throughout your years

~~Sunday, September 05, 2004~~

Pages turn and books close
Hearts left open, eyes still closed
Words said over
Repetition to the end
I'll only say sorry
To one who I call Friend.

~~Saturday, September 04, 2004~~

I could say I'm sorry
But I don't think it would stop the tears
I could beg
Again
But I don't think these wounds would heal
I could call and write and shake and yell
But
I think this is something I can't fix alone
Help me to pick up the pieces
Help me to put back the shreds



A Poem for A Man

Mistakes
Played on shaky film shown in a dark theater
Myself
Front row, cringing as I watch the lights dim and curtain lift
Lead
I play, supporting actors and actresses fade in and out
All
Shown, I see what you saw, a film of deception and betrayel
Rewind
Start the film over, yet this time let's just make it up as we go

"To prepare a face to meet the faces you will meet"
- e. e. cummings

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